waiting...

Here I am waiting for a miracle to happen in my life... I have resigned, and I'm waiting for a new job or even a chance to get into USM to further my study. I can't wait until May to know what I'm going to do with my future. There are a lot of uncertainty that I'm facing right now. To do or not to do...

A lot have been going through my mind lately. Am I a loser? Can't I take up challenge or even tolerate some pressures? Am I that impatience? Am I not good enough?!!!

I know I'm not suppose to look down upon myself but these questions keep turning on in my mind. I can't control my mind. Maybe because I have keep thinking nonsense since I'm at the very young age (if I could remember when). This kind of habit is not a very good thing to me now. Most of the time I keep forgetting things. I was not like that. I'm like having short term memory. Great! Another BAD image of me.

I really need to take a break. I'm getting a break down soon if I don't take a break. Sometimes I feel like crying whenever I think of why I have to face so much difficulty. Why can't I take up the challenge and NOT think about why other people are so lucky then I am... I MUST STOP!!!! GOD please help me. I'm a sinner....

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